yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I just blew my weed a kiss
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
