So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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