I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
