You just made me feel so damn special
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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