im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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