I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
