I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
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