what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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