i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
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My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
We have so much sex to catch up on
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After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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