I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
