I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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