I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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