My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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