Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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