Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Randomize
