She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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