fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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