We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
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