Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
The beer is more important than you right now.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
