Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
