He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
