and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
