you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
