Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I showed him my bush... on skype.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Randomize
