last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
