It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
