whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
