Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
