she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
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The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
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PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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