Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
