My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
