good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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