the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
