Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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