'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
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