This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
