I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
