I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
