I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.