I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
he shaved USA in his pubs
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.