Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
