You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
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