jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
