Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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