well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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