You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
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