I need help removing her.
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize