i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
