your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
