He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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