she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Randomize
