lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
