I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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