She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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