I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.