The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?