I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal